When you’re young and dreaming of having a baby, you’re in a certain place in your life. You’re ready for this next phase to begin. Your friends are getting married and having babies, and you want to begin the journey of motherhood, too. You finally find out you’re pregnant and you’re feeling this special feeling of never being alone. No matter where you go, people look at you differently. There’s a topic for conversation with you now that you’ve never had before. Then the baby arrives and oh boy does life change! For the next eighteen years it all becomes a blur in the day- to-day grind.
The joys and the frustrations are real. Each age of your baby brings new milestones and issues, too- their first smile, first word, first steps! And then you’re baby-proofing the entire house, and gating off places they can’t be. Suddenly they’re mobile, and you’re chasing them down, and going through the “terrible-twos!” You think it’s going to be like this forever and you hear yourself saying “I can’t take any more!” You and your spouse look at each other in frustration one minute, and beam with pride the next. You have a precious little handful that you’ve got to mold into a responsible, loving, and secure adult! How will you do it?
Then one day, they’ve got their driver’s license and they’re not quite around as much as they used to be. They’re not under your feet like they were, and things change. You’re moving into a new phase. Then off to college they go and you’ll find yourself in a whole new phase of motherhood. “Mom, I can’t live with my roommate!” “Can I study abroad?” “I think I want to change my major…” “I want to come home, I miss you and Dad!” Then slowly but surely, they make their own decisions, and the calls for advice don’t come as frequently as they did in the beginning. Now the calls are more like, “Hey mom, just wanted to hear your voice as I walk to class” or “I’ve landed a great internship…in New York City!” or “I’ve met the one!” They’ve found their wings and now it’s time for them to soar!
After the kids are gone you DO still hold the title of “Mom.” However, society and your younger friends really don’t see you as that anymore. You aren’t identified as somebody’s mom. “You’re older now, and you’re looking towards retirement.” You couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to have little kids, right? WRONG! We have been there and done that, and we blazed the trail for you. Where do you think Pinterest comes from? From people who are experienced in one thing or another and showing others the way! For all of you older moms- I hope you find something that ignites your spirit and gives you reason to get up every day, and do something that you totally love!
I love all of my young Facebook friends. I enjoy following their posts of their kids and their families! It makes me smile to think I’ve been there; I’ve done that; I’ve lived that. I know exactly what they feel like right now. I can so relate to them. Even if I’m not in your same shoes right now, I have worn them, so don’t count me out. I am still a mom. You will find yourself wearing the same mom-shoes that I’m wearing today.
So when you’re sitting at home today deciding what you want to do, remember this advice and do something just for you, Mom. You’ve earned this time of peace and quiet. You paid the dues of those challenging years, and now it’s time reap the rewards of having raised happy and successful children who are off doing their own thing, even possibly starting their own families. Though you’re now an avid golfer, professional baker, quilter, entrepreneur, or yes, even marathon-runner, you’ll always be “Mom.” Even though people no longer see you as just “Adam’s mom” or “Carrie’s mom,” it doesn’t take that part of your life away from your identity. Once a mom, always a mom. But now, we can gain a little bit of ourselves back, and do some things just for us. Your kids are always going to need you, and love you, no matter what.
And hey…isn’t that your cell ringing right now? Yep, it’s one of your kids!
“Mom? I’m so excited; I wanted you to be the first to know…”
Tami Loves…celebrating all the stages of motherhood.
